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Agonies of the bereft

 

“I am sleepless when you are present.  I am sleepless when you are absent also”.  All pains of the bereft were depicted in these lines of Salahudheen Roomi. Poets have spent their ink excessively to write down about the separation of beloved.  Clouds and birds have under taken it.  How many papers are needed to write down about the fire-pan in the hearts of separated bridegrooms and the brides who seek their livelihood in foreign countries? 
Maids in adolescence keep waiting for the proposal of a foreign bridegroom. Thus after the marriage, the new bridegroom returns to the desert before full filling the enjoyment of conjugal life. No one knows the hardness of the fire emerged in the heart of separated bride by overwhelming separation when aero plane disappears among clouds carrying her husband.  Even when they live here and the other shore both dream the days of joining which will take place only after two or three years. 
According to Norka, 1600000 of the emigrants work in abroad (In other estimation, it is 2500000).  Among them only seven or eight present have the fortune of accommodating their family with them. Most of them have very low income. They haven’t enough technical knowledge and education.  Their job doesn’t have any safety.  Many of them are become the victims for the exploitation of their employers.  They seek jobs in foreign countries expecting excessive income. For arranging VISA to this, they pawned the title-deeds of their houses and take loans for a high interest from money-lenders.  Sisters in the age of marriages, a house as a shelter etc., are their dreams even when they work hard in sandy deserts. 
With all these afflictions, these unfortunate emigrants are compelled to bury the pains of separation in their hearts.  They lose their sleep when they get a slender reference negatively about their wives in the letters sent from natives.  Whenever they get bad news they are shocked.  But often these may be mere rumors fabricated. Psychologists say that most of the complaints about the relationship of foreign brides with other men are exaggerating.  Girls who live with the instigated memories of transient sweet days of a marital life are like the storages of gun powder.  A tiny fire-brand can make an explosion in their controlled passion. 
Brides often feel inferiority in the house of their husbands.  His brothers will be there and so there exist much possibility for danger.  Isn’t it better to remain in her house in the days of separation if the relationship is new? A house, which becomes a case to hear stinging words and abuses and there phone calls and letters of the husband are diverted often, will put out her peace.  Her blood pressure increases when her husband, who blames for everything and expresses suspicions, calls every Friday from abroad.  It may cause in consulting a doctor next day (Saturday) with head ache or other physical problems. Psychologists in Kerala call this illness ‘Saturday syndrome’.  Bodily problems caused by mental disorders are called ‘psychosomatic disorder’. 
Persons, who take strong decisions to divorce their wives soon after the hearing of a myth about them, have to take care.  It is easy for everybody breaking the relationship assembled once.  Another affliction, an emigrant undergoes, is the doubt weather the money sent is used in a positive manner or not. An experience shared by a Bank employee was like this.  When an NRI depositor sent a cover with a draft to bank manager there was a letter for his wife also in it.  “I have a moderate deposit in my account.  So this money should be spent only with care” these were the lines in the letter.  With the feeling of guilt, manager gave the letter in the hand of the wife of depositor.  But the depositor had put the letter to the manager in the cover sent to his wife.  She read the lines “Don’t inform her on my bank balance. Her extravagance is very much recently”.  It is not a ‘Mop Sang-story’. 
No foreigner can suffer spending money extravagantly even if it is done either by wife or by father.  The complaint that the price of commodities in markets is being increased by foreigners is almost correct.  Foreigners, who show their vain glory in fish markets and other places, do not think about common people. 

Presentation given to relatives and friends often may be borrowed.  Like this the complex behind the building of very large houses also is very visible.  Those who give pocket money to their school children do not lead them to right channels.  Many of the foreigners do not make out that once they will have to return, so, something is to store for family.  Most of them live in the world of myths and fancies.  Great responsibilities, low income and increasing debt are the factors make many foreign wives disappointed.  Media for news exchange is very much than before today.  But how many persons can pile up the burden of phone calls? The most is unaware about internet and e-mail facilities.  There are women in public stages, who deal with persons, direct bank, education of children and build houses. Rumors spread when they get down to unregulated freedom.  The tones of thousand bells can be made under control.  But the tongues of people cannot be controlled.  Allegations of going astray are almost exaggeratory in many cases.  But closing the doors of complaints and suspicions will be best always. 
 


 
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